Learning to Bloom Where You are Planted

Spring is in full force, and each year it makes me think about personal growth and change. This year in particular I have been reflecting about what it means to bloom where you are planted. To me, learning to bloom where you are planted means learning to come into your own, maintain confidence in who you and find peace with exactly where you are in the current season of life. Today, I want to share with you a few of my latest revelations in hopes that they encourage you to BLOOM!

What to do when you are not where you want to be.

Life is full of ups and downs, and often times God plants us in a place where, frankly we do not want to be planted! When I was fired a few years ago, I was really upset. It was not part of my plan. So what do we do in those situations, when we are pushed in a direction that we don’t want to go?

Stop asking, “Why me?”

Of course, I asked that initially! I felt very confused and blindsided in the moment. But now, in retrospect, there were signs that I missed. After a week or so, I learned to consciously stop focusing on a question I would never get the answer to. I had to learn to accept what happened, even if I was still upset about it.

Focus on the lessons.

Getting fired taught me a lot of things about my work ethic. Most importantly, it taught me that my work does not define me. It was a catalyst that allowed me to find confidence in my skills and to speak up when something was wrong.

I am a firm believer that life is full of lessons, and these lessons should be shared (hence this blog post!). Even when we are planted in a place we do not want to be, there are lessons to learn about ourselves and the people around us. We just have to look for them and open our eyes and hearts to fully understand them.

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Don’t compare yourself to others.

We all know comparison is the thief of joy, but more important than that is remembering that we all have completely different lives. We are unique – through our circumstances, our personalities, our struggles, our weaknesses and our strengths. Some people may have one part of their life in full bloom, while the other part is in disarray. Comparing ourselves to others steals our time and kills our joy. There is no way we can truly bloom when we are comparing ourselves to others. It steals our time and kills our joy. But, if we focus on the good things within us and around us, then we can come into our own and reach a new level of confidence.

Look for a silver lining.

Sure, I was really upset for a couple days. But, I decided to focus on the good that could come out of the situation. I had time to think about what I wanted out of my career, and I had time to do a fun DIY project for our patio that I had continually put off. I took advantage of the time I had at home and I focused on my relationship with Will. For me, the silver lining was that being fired gave me the gift of time.

Now, I have to acknowledge that with some situations, it is much harder to find a silver lining or there appears to be no silver lining. Those are situations when the unthinkable happens, when it feels like we are incapable of ever blooming again.

I had a time in my life when I felt like that. It is something I plan to open up more about soon. But for now, I will say what got me through it was my determination to not have my life defined by that situation. It was not easy at first, but I focused on the good qualities within myself and the good things happening around me.

“Perhaps the reason you are drawn to flowers is not only for their outer beauty, but because they remind you: beautiful things will bloom after the longest seasons of waiting.” – Morgan Harpers Nichols

If you are struggling in the season of life you are in or feeling confused why part of your life is not blooming, do not beat yourself up. Find peace that you have been planted exactly where you are supposed to be. Remember you are strong. You are capable of blooming. And often times, the most beautiful blooms come after the heavies storms.

Cheers!

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Disclaimer: All  the opinions and thoughts I share are my own, unless stated otherwise. I only share content that I have a personal connection with. Your clicks, comments and engagement are very much appreciated, and may allow me to receive a small compensation. Your support of Sarah Camille’s Scoop and the brands I share help me keep doing what I love — thank you!
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Braving the Wilderness Quotes & My Journey to True Authenticity

Braving the Wilderness Quotes & My Journey to True Authenticity - Brene Brown Quotes - SCsScoop.com

Do you ever think about how our decisions and thoughts are influenced by others? We live in a world of filtered social media posts, online trolls and 24-hour news cycles. The advertising, marketing and new industries are constantly commanding our attention, telling us what to think or consume. I question the ease in which we can all make decisions for ourselves and be the most authentic version of ourselves in this world. Are we all just emulating the things we see that we like? These thoughts and questions have sat with me for some time, and they are the initial reasons I was curious about Brené Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness. If you’ve had similar thoughts or feelings, hold tight and know that you aren’t alone. I’m sharing my favorite Braving the Wilderness quotes, my journey to authenticity and what it means to find true belonging.

Now before we get any further, I want to make one thing clear. I don’t have it all figured out. I am on a journey to authenticity. It’s something I strive for, but am in now way an expert in.

Braving the Wilderness Quotes

Braving the Wilderness Quotes & My Journey to True Authenticity - Brene Brown Quotes - SCsScoop.com

In Braving the Wilderness, Brené Brown shares her personal experience coming to understand what it means to find true belonging. She talks about wanting (and trying) to be a cheerleader in high school in addition to the expectations her parents had of how she would fit in as a child. While Brown shares her journey, she doesn’t share her personal beliefs. I found that refreshing. Instead, Brown points out how we often avoid hearing beliefs that are different from our own. She encourages us to get comfortable talking about our values and beliefs with others.

“When we avoid certain conversations, and never fully learn how the other person feels about all of the issues, we sometimes end up making assumptions that not only perpetuate but deepen misunderstandings, and that can generate resentment. These results are sometimes worse for the relationship than just having the so-called “argument” would be. The key is to learn how to navigate conflicts or differences of opinion in a way that deepens mutual understanding, even if two people still disagree.” — Brené Brown

This is honestly something I struggle with. Outside of my close friends and family, I feel bad sharing personal thoughts because I worry it could offend someone. Now, I’ll never be someone who openly shares thoughts in a Facebook post about the latest headline story. But, as I get older, I realize I cannot hide my thoughts or allow myself  to feel ashamed for a certain belief just because it is not what the majority of people I know think.

Brown talks about how comfortable it is to keep to ourselves, but on the flip side it keeps us disconnected from others.

“Most of us are either making the choice to protect ourselves from conflict, discomfort, and vulnerability by staying quiet, or picking sides and in the process slowly and paradoxically adopting the behavior of the people we’re fighting. Either way, the choices we’re making to protect our beliefs and ourselves are leaving us disconnected, afraid, and lonely.” — Brené Brown

Brown also talks about our current culture and how geographically Americans are living among other like-minded people at a much higher rate than in previous periods of our history. There is a comfort that comes with being surrounded by people who think like us. Often the most common exception we make, as Brown points out, is with our families. Within many family dynamics there is an acceptance and respect for each person’s unique beliefs.

This begs the important question of why we so often judge and ridicule other people when their reaction to a situation or their belief about a certain topic is not the same as ours. 

What does it mean to Brave the Wilderness? 

When Brown talks about braving the wilderness, she is talking about the ability to confidently stand by your thoughts, actions and beliefs, regardless of whether you are alone in them. The key here is that if you are willing to brave the wilderness, you will find true belonging.

Braving the Wilderness Quotes & My Journey to True Authenticity - Brene Brown Quotes - SCsScoop.com

“Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.” — Brené Brown

Braving the Wilderness reminded me that the feeling of acceptance starts with ourselves. One of the best parts of Brown’s book is her interview with Viola Davis. Davis shares her journey to true authenticity, how she braved the wilderness and what that looks like in her life today.

Personally, I think my journey to true authenticity has just begun, and I plan to share my journey on this blog and other social media channels. While I don’t ever want to focus on just the negative things in my life, I do want to pull back the lens more. I will look for more opportunities to show you all who I truly am, my real life, struggles, recent lessons learned and achievements. There are two main reasons I plan to share these things. First, to get more comfortable being myself. And second, to hopefully inspire someone else to live unapologetically.

I would love to hear your thoughts about authenticity and these Braving the Wilderness quotes. Do you think the increase of technology, social media and  advertisements make it harder to brave the wilderness today than in decades past? Do you have a favorite Braving the Wilderness quote?

Are you on a journey to true authenticity? Do you struggle with not wanting to hurt other people’s feeling like I do? Let’s chat in the comments and share some support for each other.

I’ll leave you with one last simple, but profound quote.

“It takes courage to open ourselves up to joy.” — Brené Brown

Cheers!

Sarah Camille

 

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How to Be True to Yourself 

Hi friends!

I’ve been working on this post off and on for quite some time, so I’m excited to finally share this with you. The past few months have included a lot of change for me – job changes, moving, engagement, wedding planning, family obligations, etc., and I’d be lying if I said it’s been smooth sailing! Thoughout these months however, I’ve had an important lightbulb moment that I think might be helpful for some of you.

That realization in summary is that so many of us (including me!) spend way too much time focused on pleasing other people and being “the person” other people want us to be. We loose sight of our authentic selves and our goals and life plans end up intertwined in the expectations placed on us by others. But the fault lies not on those who place expectations on us that don’t align with our true identity. The fault lies on ourselves for accepting those expectations as our own.

Let’s Rewind

Throughout my childhood, I often heard from my mom four particular words. Be true to yourself. These words would come most often when I struggled to make a decision. I would tell my mom how torn I was, how I felt like I had to choose one friend over another or how I wasn’t sure how to move forward with something because I knew it was the right thing to do but that it would make someone else upset.

As a child, I was super concerned about upsetting other people — family, friends or teachers. But I also had a strong sense of self. I knew exactly when I didn’t believe in something. So in those moments, when I was torn between upholding my integrity and maintaining my relationships, my mom would always say those four words. It is something that has stuck with me, something I hear replay in my mind all the time.

Fast Forward to the Present

I reflected on this advice and had my lightbulb moment when I stumbled across a TedTalk, “The art of being yourself” by Caroline McHugh. McHugh talks about how easily we get wrapped up in what others think of us. It made me realize how often I am concerned with what other people are thinking and how other people are feeling, that I often lose sight of my own thoughts and feelings. My desire to please other people can be damaging when it means I am not maintaining my authenticity; when I am not remaining true to myself. Of course, there are times when our thoughts and feelings must take the back seat, like if a loved one is sick and wishes to be taken care of in a way that we would not have chosen.

But all too often we function on auto-pilot and put the thoughts and feelings of our friends and family at the forefront.  We let their vision of who we are dictate our lives, and we loose that clarity we once had as a child. When that happens we risk loosing touch of who we are. And as Caroline points out, we cannot be content with ourselves when we do not know what rings true in our hearts.

Almost in synchronicity, soon after I watched McHugh’s video, Will sent me an article, “Why We Love Ourselves But Care More About Other People’s Opinons.” It discusses how we place more importance on other people’s opinions than on our own opinions. We seek acceptance from others, and in many ways it’s natural to do so. But as I’ve mentioned, we loose contentment with ourselves when we don’t place enough importance on our own thoughts or we shy away from being true to ourselves.

So what?!

This revelation may seem irrelevant to some of you. It may seem like a no-brained. I may also sound like a crazy person. But the important thing isn’t my lightbulb moment. It’s figuring out where I go from here, and how to stay in touch with my authentic self.

I’ve realized just how much I overthink what I’m doing. I wonder what people will think. I question whether or not people truly understand me. I question whether or not I unintentionally offended someone. And I’ve realized how much extra stress that puts in my life and how much time it takes out of my day to day life.

My goal now is to recognize those moments when I am overthinking things and redirect my thoughts into a positive direction. I reaffirm my authenticity, but reflecting on the things that align with my true nature and letting go of the things that are not me.

It’s unfortunate we live in a society where individuality and differences aren’t celebrated more; where so many people copy each other and accept someone else’s identity as their own. We should aim to be more accepting of different people’s thoughts and not expect everyone (including close family and friends) to live or think the same way we do.

Authenticity is a quality of high importance to me. I look for it in the people I surround myself with. I know this post may seem idealistic, but I hope some of you can relate.

Cheers to YOU!

Sarah Camille

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